bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
