too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
