just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
