Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My vagina is officially offended.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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