i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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