let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
