Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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