just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
