yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
