Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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