He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
