am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
