puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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