he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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