everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
