youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
