i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
