So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
