yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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