yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
