Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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