i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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