"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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