I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
