sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
