This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
