I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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