she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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