Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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