me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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