hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
