god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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