party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
