I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
