This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
