I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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