in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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