Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I want a musical about memes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
