if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The ass gains better be worth it
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