I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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