cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just threw up on my dentist
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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