I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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