im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
