As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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