I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
