i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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