so explain again why im purple
no
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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