i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
