Where did you get a picture of my penis
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
