Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
